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The line graph shows the consumption of the different types of junk food by young people in Mauritius

The line graph shows the consumption of the different types of junk food by young people in Mauritius BL85m
The line graph shows the consumption of the different types of junk food by young people in Mauritius over a time period of three decades. Overall, It is clear that the pizza is at peak stage by 1985 and remaining two junk foods also increased every year/ In 1985 the average chicken eaten by people five times a year, after that it was increased to 60 times in 365days by the year in between 2000 to 2005and constantly stable few years. However, by the end of 2015nit reached to peak stage 63 times in a annual year. Even Hamburgers consumed 10times a year by 1985 but it was gone up to its highest consumption by 70 people in a year by the end of 2015. But pizza ate 5 times a month in 1985 but, Afterwards it had lost huge customers and ended up being 70 times year by 2015.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the consumption of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of junk food by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Mauritius over a
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time
period of three decades.
Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the pizza is at peak stage by 1985 and remaining two junk foods
also
increased every year/ In 1985 the average chicken eaten by
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people
five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a
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year
, after that it
was increased
to 60
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times
in 365days by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in between 2000 to 2005and
constantly
stable few years.
However
, by the
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end
of 2015nit reached to peak stage 63
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Even Hamburgers consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
10times
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by 1985
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was gone
up to its highest consumption by 70
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2015.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
pizza ate 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a month in 1985
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, Afterwards it had lost huge customers and ended up being 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by 2015.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the consumption of the different types of junk food by young people in Mauritius

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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