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the zoos are integral part of many society however many people favor the shut down of the facilities permanently

the zoos are integral part of many society however many people favor the shut down of the facilities permanently o5r9b
it is true that enimals who is in the zoos they lose their skills because they easily got what they need. but i am not agree with shut down facilities of zoos. this is helping to enimals risk free life and give some information about animals to children. to start with most of all animals are here in the zoo. firstly zoos are give some oportunities to animal who lived thier life risk free. as an instance animals like rabbit and deer also more animals passed thier life without risk if they are in the zoo. second, animals are easily got thier launch who are carnivorous they do not need to go hunting daily if they are in the zoo. because zoo give them thier launch and all facilities what they need. third zoos give them medical facilities who stayed in zoo than they can live thier life with good health. lastly, the children who come in the next firm. they got some information about animals and they got more information about animals who come to extinct and not see enywhere. most animals are stayed in the zoo, therefore children got information about animals. finally, i am not agree to shut down facilities of zoos permanently because animals are got thier risk free life, launch, medical facilities and next firm children got information about extinct animal who are in the zoos. therefore i am disagree with shut down facilities of zoos permanently.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is true that
Possible spelling mistake found.
enimals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is in the zoos they lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
what they need.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with shut down facilities of zoos.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is helping to
Possible spelling mistake found.
enimals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with most of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are here in the zoo.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
zoos are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
oportunities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
free.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
an instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like rabbit and deer
also
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
passed
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
if they are in the zoo.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
second
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
launch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are carnivorous they do not need to go hunting daily if they are in the zoo.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
zoo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
launch and all facilities what they need.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
third
zoos
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them medical facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stayed in zoo than they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
next
firm.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
animals and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to extinct and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
enywhere
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are stayed
in the zoo,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about animals.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
to shut down facilities of zoos
permanently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, launch, medical facilities and
next
firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about extinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in the zoos.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am disagree with shut down facilities of zoos
permanently
.
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IELTS academic the zoos are integral part of many society however many people favor the shut down of the facilities permanently

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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