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The line graph shows the consumption of four different kinds of meat

The line graph shows the consumption of four different kinds of meat KWAoL
The line graph illustrates how much the people in European countries ate four different kinds of meat between the years 1979 and 2004. Overall, it is conspicuous from the graph that only chicken showed a steady but significant rise over the period while consumption of all the other three experienced a downward trend. In 1979, the consumption of beef was very high at 210 grams for each person in a week. However, chicken and lamb were also consumed at 150 grams but people ate the fish at a very smaller quantity of just 60 grams. After 10 years, lamb and fish got gradually decreased by 100 grams and 50 grams respectively. In the meantime, both chicken and beef were consumed to about 200 grams per person in one week. In 2004, After so many fluctuations, chicken consumption increased to 250 grams which is the highest of the trend. Beef and Lamb were consumed only at approximately 110 grams and 90 grams sequentially. And finally, fish at a still lowest of 50 grams.
The line graph illustrates how much the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in European countries
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ate
four
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different
kinds of meat between the years 1979 and 2004.

Overall
, it is conspicuous from the graph that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
chicken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a steady
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
significant rise over the period while consumption of all the other three experienced a downward trend.

In 1979, the consumption of beef was
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very
high at 210
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grams
for each person in a week.
However
, chicken and lamb were
also
consumed at 150
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grams
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but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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ate
the fish at a
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very
smaller quantity of
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just
60 grams.

After 10 years, lamb and fish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
gradually
decreased by 100
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grams
and 50
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grams
respectively
. In the meantime, both chicken and beef
were consumed
to about 200
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grams
per person in one week.

In 2004, After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fluctuations, chicken consumption increased to 250
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grams
which is the highest of the trend. Beef and Lamb
were consumed
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only
at approximately 110
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grams
and 90
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grams
sequentially
.

And
finally
, fish at a
still
lowest of 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
.

IELTS academic The line graph shows the consumption of four different kinds of meat

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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