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WRITING TASK 1 ACADEMIC PIE CHART

WRITING TASK 1 ACADEMIC PIE CHART 06r65
The Chart gives nutritional information about how much of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed percentagewise in the diet of average person in USA on daily basis. Overall, the data shows that breakfast contains the lowest proportion in all three nutrients, Whereas, lunch and dinner have a higher contribution of sodium and saturated fat. Snacks has the most added sugar compared to any other meal. Firstly, sodium constitutes of 43 % of dinner and decreases to 29 % for lunch. Breakfast and snacks share the same amount of this nutrient (14 % each). Secondly, Saturated makes up 37 % of evening meal and 26 % of mid-day meal, and this is closely followed by snacks or treats, which contribute 21 % of it. Surprisingly, Breakfast contains least amount of saturated fat (16 %). Finally, Sugar has the highest contribution in snacks, about 42%. The supper adds another 23 %, followed by lunch and breakfast at 19 % and 16 %, respectively.
The Chart gives nutritional information about how much of sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar consumed
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentagewise
in the diet of average person
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
on daily basis.

Overall
, the data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
contains the lowest proportion in all three nutrients, Whereas, lunch and dinner have a higher contribution of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "snack has".
Snacks has
the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar compared to any other meal.

Firstly
, sodium
Did you mean "consists of"?
constitutes of
43 % of dinner and decreases to 29 % for lunch.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Breakfast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
share the same amount of this nutrient (14 % each).
Secondly
,
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Saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 37 % of evening meal and 26 % of mid-day meal, and this is
closely
followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
or treats, which contribute 21 % of it.
Surprisingly
,
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Breakfast
contains
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
(16 %).

Finally
, Sugar has the highest contribution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
, about 42%. The supper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
another 23 %, followed by lunch and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
at 19 % and 16 %,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic WRITING TASK 1 ACADEMIC PIE CHART

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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