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The line graph shows the consumption of fats between 1971 and 1997

The line graph shows the consumption of fats between 1971 and 1997 XlA7A
In an overall view, butter and margarine consumption had experienced a significant decrease; however, on the other hand, low and reduced fat spreads had seen moderate climb, despite it entered to the consumption cycle later than butter and margarin. At the beginning of the trend, in 1971, butter had been consumed more than margarine per week by a person, almost 150 gram and just less 100 respectively. However, from 1971 to 1976, both faced with a slight oscillation, after this year, butter saw almost steady decreased and margarine started a gradual climb. Finally, in 1981, consumption of margarin exceeded that of butter in 100 gram per week. After this overtaking, the consumption of butter fell sharply while margarin stay a little stable and then decline moderately. In 1986, low-fat spreads introduced and started to increase rapidly. This increase set to continue until low-fat spreads overtook that of butter in 1991 and that of margarine in approximately 1994.
In an
overall
view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
had experienced a significant decrease;
however
,
on the other hand
, low and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
spreads had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
moderate climb, despite it entered to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
cycle later than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
margarin
.

At the beginning of the trend, in 1971,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
had
been consumed
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
per week by a person, almost 150
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
less 100
respectively
.
However
, from 1971 to 1976, both faced with a slight oscillation, after this year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
almost steady decreased and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a gradual climb.
Finally
, in 1981,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
margarin
exceeded that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
in 100
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
per week. After this overtaking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
fell
sharply
while
Possible spelling mistake found.
margarin
stay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
stable and then decline
moderately
. In 1986, low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
spreads introduced and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase
rapidly
. This increase set to continue until low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
spreads overtook that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
in 1991 and that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
in approximately 1994.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the consumption of fats between 1971 and 1997

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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