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The line graph shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers from 1975 and 2000

The line graph shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers from 1975 and 2000 gYD1l
The given line graph illustrates how many times fast food (pizza, fish and chips, hamburgers) was consumed by Australian adolescents annually, over a course aof 25 years, starting from 1975. Looking at at the graph, it is clearly evident that the consumption of hamburgers, pizza experienced an upward trend, with the exception of fish and chips over the time frame. In addition, while fish and chips registered the highest initial number of times eaten among the three, hamburgers had surpassed fish and chips in 1985, following that pizza became the second most favored junk food in the final years. In 1975, the frequency of consuming fish and chips stood at 100 times and then declined sharply to just above 80 times 5 years later. This number rised marginally to about 95 times, before plunging by rougly 55 times. An opposite trend coukd be witnessed in the amount of hamburgers being eaten, as it stood at the mark of 10 times in the beginning of the period, and managed to soar to approximately 85 times. It continued to climb gradually, outstripping the figure for fish and chips in 1985, before reaching 100 times 15 years later. Likewise, pizza consumption increased considerably to more than 80 times in 1995, and it remained constant from there.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food (pizza, fish and chips, hamburgers)
was consumed
by Australian adolescents
annually
, over a course
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aof
25 years, starting from 1975. Looking
Possible typo: you repeated a word
at at
the graph, it is
clearly
evident that the consumption of hamburgers, pizza experienced an upward trend,
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
fish and chips over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
frame.
In addition
, while fish and chips registered the highest initial number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
eaten among the three, hamburgers had surpassed fish and chips in 1985, following that pizza became the second most favored junk food in the final years. In 1975, the frequency of consuming fish and chips stood at 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and then declined
sharply
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 80
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times
5 years later. This number
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rised
marginally
to about 95
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times
,
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before
plunging by
Possible spelling mistake found.
rougly
55
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times
. An opposite trend
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coukd
be witnessed
in the amount of hamburgers
being eaten
, as it stood at the mark of 10
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times
in the beginning of the period, and managed to soar to approximately 85
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times
. It continued to climb
gradually
, outstripping the figure for fish and chips in 1985,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching 100
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times
15 years later.
Likewise
, pizza consumption increased
considerably
to more than 80
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times
in 1995, and it remained constant from there.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers from 1975 and 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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