Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar graph illustrates the proportion of senior citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000 and 2030.

The bar graph illustrates the proportion of senior citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000 and 2030. ABpdn
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of senior citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000 and 2030. In general, it can be seen that the highest percentage of elder population also has belonged to Germany in all three periods. First of all, if we look at 1980, the proportion of 65 and over population in Germany headed the countries with 15%, making it slightly higher than that in the UK with about 13%. Bottom of the list is this percentage in Canada at 10%. Regarding 2000, the UK and Canada had similar percentage of elders at 15%, although this was much lower than Germany by 5%. As for 2030, the proportion of Canadian elders is expected to be not nearly as high as that of German elders, with 25% compared to nearly 22% respectively. The country is predicted to have the lowest percentage is the UK with approximately 20%.
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of senior citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000 and 2030.

In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
population
also
has belonged to Germany in all three periods.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if we look at 1980, the proportion of 65 and over population in Germany headed the countries with 15%, making it
slightly
higher than that in the UK with about 13%. Bottom of the list is this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in Canada at 10%. Regarding 2000, the UK and Canada had similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
at 15%, although this was much lower than Germany by 5%. As for 2030, the proportion of Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be not
nearly
as high as that of German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
, with 25% compared to
nearly
22%
respectively
. The country
is predicted
to have the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is the UK with approximately 20%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates the proportion of senior citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000 and 2030.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    The crap the lawsuit data csc emission in port different countries between 1994 and 2006
    The given line graph represents the emission of Chloro Fluoro Carbon (CFC) in the Turkey, Switzerland, Brazil, and Indonesia during 1994 to 2006. Overall, Brazil emit highest among all the three countries, while it become least producer at the end of 2006. According to graph, in 1994, Brazil disch...
  • 5.5band
    The graph below show data of CFC emission in four countries between 1994 and 2006
    The given line graph represents the emission of Chloro Fluoro Carbon (CFC) in the Turkey, Switzerland, Brazil, and Indonesia during 1994 to 2006. Overall, Brazil emit highest among all the three countries, while it become least producer at the end of 2006. According to graph, in 1994, Brazil disch...
  • 6band
    Cement and Concrete Fabrication
    The two diagrams explain the process in which cement is manufactured, and then how the cement is used to produce concrete. It shows the various materials and equipment used in the process. The primary materials used to make cement are limestone and clay. Firstly, limestone and clay are passed throu...
  • 6band
    Percentage of students giving good ratings for different aspects of a university
    The table illustrates the proportion of students who give good ratings for the five distinctive aspects of a certain university in three years 2000, 2005, and 2010. Looking at the table, it is immediately clear that while print resources were received the best rating by students through the years, ...
  • 5.5band
    Maple High School native speaker percentage
    . The pie charts demonstrate the percentage of students studying at Maple Woods High School who spoke different native languages in the years 2005 and 2010. In 2005, 58% of students were native English speakers, and Spanish speakers constituted a little over 20 per cent. 11% of speakers were Chines...
  • 5.5band
    The chart below illustrates the use of tobacco product
    The given bar graph shows that, the student of middle and high school utilized the different types of tobacco items at present. Overall it is clear that, students of high school had the maximum propotion of any use and it is interesting to note that both types of students figures was decrease trend....





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar graph illustrates the proportion of senior citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000 and 2030.