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The line graph shows the Asia Telecom share price from March 2010 to March 2011

The line graph shows the Asia Telecom share price from March 2010 to March 2011 BLOmw
The given line graph illustrates the different price of Asia Telecom between March 2010 to March 2011. Overall, it can be seen that there was an downward trend. The cost of Asia Telecom was highest at the beginning of the period and then it went down in one year later. In March 1st, the proportion of Asia telecom was peak at 23 US $ and then it has a drammatical declined untill June 1st. A rose slightly was seen in the amount of money spent on telecom with over 14 US $ in July 1st. In constrast, there was an 2 US $ decrease from August 1st to September 1st and the figure of this continent's telecom grew slowly at the end of the period with nearly 16 US $.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
price of Asia Telecom between March 2010 to March 2011.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there was
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
downward trend. The cost of Asia Telecom was highest at the beginning of the period and then it went down in one year later. In March 1st, the proportion of Asia telecom was peak at 23 US $ and then it has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drammatical
declined
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
June 1st. A rose
slightly
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the amount of money spent on telecom with over 14 US $ in July 1st. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
constrast
, there was an 2 US $ decrease from August 1st to September 1st and the figure of this continent's telecom grew
slowly
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period with
nearly
16 US $.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the Asia Telecom share price from March 2010 to March 2011

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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