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The line graph shows changing patterns of business communication in business in Ney Stratford from 1980 to 2005.

The line graph shows changing patterns of business communication in business in Ney Stratford from 1980 to 2005. NplN
The line graph illustrates changes in patterns of business communication in New Stratford from 1980 to 2005. Overall, over the years, letter correspondence became less popular while cell phone and email communications increased significantly. In 1980, the landline phone and letters were the most popular means to contact people at 25 million calls and slightly under 20 million letters a day. By 2005 the landline phone had ended up with around 22, 5 million calls a day, although up to that point it had fluctuated between 25 and 30 million calls a day. Writing letters declined in number rapidly from 1985 to end up with just 2, 5 million in 2005. In contrast, using emails, cell phones and other internet-based tools rose. These three were all virtually unused in 1980, but from 1995 to 2005, there was a dramatic rise in the use of email and cell phones. From 8 million communications a day in 1995 both of the methods climbed up to around 32, 5 emails and 25 million calls a day in 2005. Other internet usage rose steadily from 5 million in 1995 to 8 million in 2005.
The line graph illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in patterns of business communication in New Stratford from 1980 to 2005.
Overall
, over the years,
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letter
correspondence became less popular while cell
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phone
and email communications increased
significantly
.

In 1980, the landline
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phone
and
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letters
were the most popular means to contact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at 25
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million
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calls
and
slightly
under 20
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
a day. By 2005 the landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
had ended up with around 22, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
a day, although up to that point it had fluctuated between 25 and 30
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
a day. Writing
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letters
declined in number
rapidly
from 1985 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
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just
2, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005.

In contrast
, using emails, cell
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phones
and other internet-based tools rose. These three were all
virtually
unused in 1980,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from 1995 to 2005, there was a dramatic rise in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of email and cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. From 8
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million
communications a day in 1995 both of the methods climbed up to around 32, 5 emails and 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
a day in 2005. Other internet usage rose
steadily
from 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1995 to 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows changing patterns of business communication in business in Ney Stratford from 1980 to 2005.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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