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The line graph shows average tickets sold at a theater and bar graph shows the average proportion of tickets sold in 2010 and 2011.

The line graph shows average tickets sold at a theater and bar graph shows the average proportion of tickets sold in 2010 and 2011. JMyB
The line graph provides the information about the normal prices of tickets sold at a cinema and the bar graph illustrates the average proportion of tickets sold from 2010 to 2011. Overall, we can see in initial period of 2010 average wages of tickets was lower while fourth quarter in 2011 tickets prices rose. In both years at the fourth quarter average proportion of tickets sold ratio was highest. In 2010, tickets sold at a theatre normal wages were more than 9 pound in first and second quarters. From quarters three to four tickets prices drastically increased and made up to 10. 5 pounds in 2010. Moreover, from 2011 first quarter to second theater normal prices remain same 10. 5 pounds. Finally, in 2010 three and four quarters normal wages were 10. 3 pounds, 10. 5 pounds respectively. In 2011, everett tickets sold in quarter one and second proportion was same and it was 60%. In 2011, third quarter ratio dropped and made up to 45% while in fourth quarter tickets sold proportion increased up to 80%. Furthermore, in 2011 average tickets sold rates same for quarter one and two. Eventually, quarter three normal tickets sold rate was 45% and quarter four ratio was 65% in 2011.
The line graph provides the information about the
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normal
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prices
of
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tickets
sold at a cinema and the bar graph illustrates the
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average
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proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
sold from 2010 to 2011.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in initial period of 2010
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average
wages of
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tickets
was lower while fourth
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quarter
in 2011
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tickets
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prices
rose. In both years at the fourth
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quarter
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
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tickets
sold ratio was highest.

In 2010,
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tickets
sold at a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
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normal
wages were more than
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9 pound
in
first
and second
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quarters
. From
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quarters
three to four
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tickets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
drastically
increased and made up to 10.
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5 pounds
in 2010.
Moreover
, from 2011
first
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quarter
to second theater
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normal
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prices
remain same 10.
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 pounds
.
Finally
, in 2010 three and four
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quarters
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normal
wages were 10.
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
3 pounds
, 10.
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 pounds
respectively
.

In 2011,
Possible spelling mistake found.
everett
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tickets
sold in
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quarter
one and second
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proportion
was same and it was 60%. In 2011, third
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quarter
ratio dropped and made up to 45% while in fourth
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quarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
sold
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proportion
increased up to 80%.
Furthermore
, in 2011
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
sold rates same for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
one and two.
Eventually
,
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quarter
three
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normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
sold rate was 45% and
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quarter
four
Possible agreement error. The noun 'ratio' seems to be countable, so consider using: "ratios".
ratio
was 65% in 2011.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows average tickets sold at a theater and bar graph shows the average proportion of tickets sold in 2010 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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