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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. BGB6
The line graphs illustrate the type of students enrolled in Australian universities, over the span of a decade, from 2001 to 2010. The first graph is indicative of International students, whereas the second graph is of home students, both of which represent commencing as well as a total number of students. Although lesser than the local students, there has been a four-fold increase in the number of overseas enrollments, ranging from a total of 20, 000 in 2001 to just above 80, 000 in 2010. Local applications were over twice the number of overseas applications in 2001, but have shown lesser progress in comparison to the former in 2010. The commencing students, however, were only about 10, 000 overseas, significantly lesser in comparison to local students. Interestingly, a similar trend as the total number of students can be noticed here, where the former has shown better growth than the latter, over the period of ten years, In conclusion, it can be deduced at once that the total number of local students enrolling in Australian universities has moderately increased, but the growth in overseas students has seen a better rise.
The line graphs illustrate the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled in Australian universities, over the span of a decade, from 2001 to 2010. The
first
graph is indicative of International
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students
, whereas the second graph is of home
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students
, both of which represent commencing
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
a
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students.

Although lesser than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, there has been a four-fold increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
enrollments, ranging from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
of 20, 000 in 2001 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 80, 000 in 2010.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
applications were over twice the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
applications in 2001,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have shown lesser progress
in comparison
to the former in 2010.

The commencing
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students
,
however
, were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 10, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
,
significantly
lesser
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Interestingly
, a similar trend as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be noticed
here, where the former has shown better growth than the latter, over the period of ten years,

In conclusion
, it can
be deduced
at once that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolling in Australian universities has
moderately
increased,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a better rise.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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