Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree and disagree

Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree and disagree 9eNn
Nowadays, modern technology provides entertainment to people, and people enjoying this more as compare to the past. I disagree with the statement that people do not entertainment themselves as much as they used to. In past, people go on picnic, and go to meet their relatives in leisure time with T. V and computer games, and those all things are not creative as much as todays leisure activity. Now days, people have modern amusement park, theme park and physical game zone for free time. Moreover, latest technology change way of entertainment. Now people can paly professional sports such as, F1 racing with help of VR technology. Further more, people can enjoy verity of activity on one place such as "WOOP", which is one of the most popular physical game zone of India. In this park masses can play foot ball, table tennis, Go-carting and bowling. Modern technology helpful in develop creativity and skills in children. when children play games then, they develop decision making and other important skill. On the other hand, modern technology games are very expensive, not everybody can afford that. In addition some people addict with game and waste their time and money. Also some people get injured while playing physical games. However, with help of modern technology people get more relief towards work and also children develop life living skills. To conclude, technology provide better way entertainment, and its positives outweigh negatives.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides entertainment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoying this more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to the past. I disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not entertainment themselves as much as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.

Did you mean: "In the past"?
In past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go on picnic, and go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their relatives in leisure time with T. V and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and those all things are not creative as much as
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
leisure activity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
amusement park, theme park and physical game zone for free time.
Moreover
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
way of entertainment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
paly
professional sports such as, F1 racing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of VR technology.

Further
more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy verity of activity on one place such as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
WOOP
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, which is one of the most popular physical game zone of India. In this park masses can play foot ball, table tennis, Go-carting and bowling.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
helpful in develop creativity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in children.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
children play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
then, they develop
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, not everybody can afford that. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addict with game and waste their time and money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured while playing physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
However
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more relief towards work and
also
children develop life living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provide better way entertainment, and its positives outweigh negatives.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree and disagree

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts