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the line graph show radio and TV audiences thoroughout the day in 1992

the line graph show radio and TV audiences thoroughout the day in 1992 9LgMp
The presented line graph gives information about the percentage of people who prefer TV or radio different part of the day in 1992. Overall, people prefered to watch TV usually evening time while radio listened morning time. It is clear that, the least number of audiences was from at 1 a. m. to 5 a. m. then, radio audiences started to listen radio at 6 a. m. and its number reached the highest point to just over the 25% at 8 a. m. After that, the percentage of radio audiences began to decrease steadily to at 3 p. m. (nearly 10%). Until midnight, its proportion showed some fluctuations and, finally at midnight under 5% audiences prefered to radio. Turning to TV, its proportion nearly remained the same until 11 a. m. , which usually under 10% after that, its percentage began to increase and reached aproximately 15% at 1 p. m. Until 3 p. m. , its number experienced a slightly decrease but then, its percentage grew up sharply to just above 45% at 9 p. m. Until midnight, its proportion started to decrease gradually.
The presented line graph gives information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the day in 1992.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV
usually
evening time while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listened morning time.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the least number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
was from at 1 a. m. to 5 a. m. then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
at 6 a. m. and its number reached the highest point to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over the 25% at 8 a. m. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
began to decrease
steadily
to at 3 p. m. (
nearly
10%). Until midnight, its proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations and,
finally
at midnight under 5%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to radio.

Turning to TV, its proportion
nearly
remained the same until 11 a. m.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which
usually
under 10% after that, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
began to increase and reached
Possible spelling mistake found.
aproximately
15% at 1 p. m. Until 3 p. m.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
its number experienced a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('decrease') instead of another adjective.
slightly decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
grew up
sharply
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 45% at 9 p. m. Until midnight, its proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease
gradually
.
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IELTS academic the line graph show radio and TV audiences thoroughout the day in 1992

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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