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Result of a survey of adult education

Result of a survey of adult education LrnQR
According to the first chart 40 percent of adults are interested in subject of education. And 38 percent of adults want to gain qualification. Also, 22 percent of adults thought education will helpful for their current job. The adults who want to improve their promotion or just want to enjoy learning are took 20 percent. Some of the adults who want to change jobs are took 12 percent in this survey. Lastly 9 percent of adults wants to meet with people by education. As shown in the pie graph, adults thought education costs should be shared. For instance, employers should take 35 percent, taxpayers should pay 25 percent and rest of 40 percent should paid by them.
According to the
first
chart 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are interested
in subject of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. And 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to gain qualification.
Also
, 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will helpful for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their promotion or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to enjoy learning are
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
jobs are
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in this survey.
Lastly
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As shown in the pie graph,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
costs should
be shared
.
For instance
, employers should take 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, taxpayers should pay 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and rest of 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "pay"
paid
by them.
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IELTS academic Result of a survey of adult education

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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