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The line graph illustrates how many micrograms of sulphur dioxide and smoke were in every cubic metre

The line graph illustrates how many micrograms of sulphur dioxide and smoke were in every cubic metre XyxAE
The line graph illustrates how many micrograms of sulphur dioxide and smoke were in every cubic metre as a measure of pollution in London from the 1570s to 2000. Overall, even though sulphur dioxide pollution was almost always higher than smoke, both substances followed a relatively similar trend throughout the period. In addition, the number of smoke micrograms surpassed the figure for sulphur dioxide only once. Originally, both kinds of pollution had a similar level close to 0 at the end of the 16th century. In the following 2 centuries, while sulphur dioxide level rose to around 750 micrograms per cubic metre, the figure for smoke was only 250. Afterwards, sulphur dioxide witnessed a peak of around 900 in the late 1840s, while the time for smoke level's maximum value equal to 400 was in the 1870s. Beginning in the 20th century, both types of pollution began falling sharply. Interestingly, both figures started fluctuating heavily from the 1930s while generally declining. As a result, in 1950, the smoke level surpassed the sulphur dioxide level when both of them were slightly more than 250. However, this lasted for only a few years. Finally, at the end of the 2nd millennium, both numbers were around 0 just like the start of the period.
The line graph illustrates how
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many
micrograms of
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
dioxide and
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smoke
were in every cubic
Possible spelling mistake. 'metre' is British English.
metre
as a measure of
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pollution
in London from the 1570s to 2000.

Overall
,
even though
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sulphur
dioxide
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pollution
was almost always higher than
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smoke
, both substances followed a
relatively
similar trend throughout the period.
In addition
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
micrograms surpassed the figure for
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
dioxide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once.

Originally
, both kinds of
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pollution
had a similar
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level
close to 0 at the
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end
of the 16th century. In the following 2 centuries, while
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
rose to around 750 micrograms per cubic
Possible spelling mistake. 'metre' is British English.
metre
, the figure for
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smoke
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
250. Afterwards,
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
dioxide witnessed a peak of around 900 in the late 1840s, while the time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
level's maximum value equal to 400 was in the 1870s.

Beginning in the 20th century, both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
began falling
sharply
.
Interestingly
, both figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
fluctuating
heavily
from the 1930s while
generally
declining.
As a result
, in 1950, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
surpassed the
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
when both of them were
slightly
more than 250.
However
, this lasted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few years.
Finally
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 2nd millennium, both numbers were around 0
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the period.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates how many micrograms of sulphur dioxide and smoke were in every cubic metre

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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