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The line graph illustrates the life expectancy at birth of people born and living in various regions of Asian continent, starting 1950 up until 2300.

The line graph illustrates the life expectancy at birth of people born and living in various regions of Asian continent, starting 1950 up until 2300. lDkQ
The line graph illustrates the life expectancy at birth of people born and living in various regions of Asian continent, starting 1950 up until 2300. Overall, as is shown by the graph, life expectancy has rose since 1950, and it is projected to increase further in the upcoming years. The highest number of years people are expected to live was in some Eastern Asia territories, and it stood at approximately 53 in the starting year. By contrast, in every other region shown, life expectancy was under 40 years, except Western Asia, where the number was 45. By 2020, life-span skyrocketed in every part of Asia. In the 1970s, longevity in China underwent an increase and therefore was higher than in Western Asia. However, this changed in 21st century and Western Asia took a lead again, and it is projected to change again in 2100. In the present time, other Eastern Asian regions still have the highest life expectancy, approximately 82 years. In every other parts, that number is below 80, whereas in India and some South-central Asia territories is even lower, under 70 years. In the upcoming period, the trend of growth will follow a very similar pattern. It is forecast that expected years of life will rise further. By 23rd century, not one part of Asia will exceed the life expectancy in the Eastern Asia region, which will go up to over 100 years. By that time, people in China are predicted to have longevity of around 97 years. When it comes to other parts of this continent, the rise will continue and it won’t be under 90 years by 2300.
The line graph illustrates the
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life
expectancy at birth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
born and living in various
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regions
of Asian continent, starting 1950 up until 2300.

Overall
, as
is shown
by the graph,
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life
expectancy has
Use the past participle "risen" after the modal (auxiliary) verb 'has'.
rose
since 1950, and it
is projected
to increase
further
in the upcoming years. The highest number of years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
was in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Eastern Asia territories, and it stood at approximately 53 in the starting
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year
. By contrast, in every
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other
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region
shown,
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life
expectancy was under 40 years, except Western Asia, where the number was 45.

By 2020, life-span skyrocketed in every
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part
of Asia. In the 1970s, longevity in China underwent an increase and
therefore
was higher than in Western Asia.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in 21st century and Western Asia took a lead again, and it
is projected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
again in 2100. In the present time,
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other
Eastern Asian
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regions
still
have the highest
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life
expectancy, approximately 82 years. In every
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other
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parts
, that number is below 80, whereas in India and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
South-central Asia territories is even lower, under 70 years.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the upcoming period, the trend of growth will follow a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar pattern. It is forecast that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will rise
further
. By 23rd century, not one
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part
of Asia will exceed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy in the Eastern Asia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
, which will go up to over 100 years. By that time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in China
are predicted
to have longevity of around 97 years. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of this continent, the rise will continue and it won’t be under 90 years by 2300.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the life expectancy at birth of people born and living in various regions of Asian continent, starting 1950 up until 2300.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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