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The graph shows the increase in the ageing population in Japan, Sweden and the USA.

The graph shows the increase in the ageing population in Japan, Sweden and the USA. Bny6
The graph shows the increase in the ageing population in Japan, Sweden and the USA. It indicates that the percentage of elderly people in all three countries is expected to increase to almost 25% of the respective populations by the year 2040. In 1940 the proportion of people aged 65 or more stood at only 5% in Japan, approximately 7% in Sweden and 9% in the US. However, while the figures for the Western countries grew to about 15°o in around 199C, the figure for Japan dipped to only 25% for much of this period, before rising to almost 5% again at the present time. In spite of some fluctuation in the expected percentages, the proportion of older people will probably continue to increase m the next two decades in the three countries. A more dramatic rise is predicted between 2030 and 2040 in Japan, by which time it is thought that the proportion of elderly people will be similar in the three countries.
The graph
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shows
the increase in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population in
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Japan
, Sweden and the USA. It indicates that the percentage of elderly
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people
in all three
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countries
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase to almost 25% of the respective populations by the year 2040.

In 1940 the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 65 or more stood at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, approximately 7% in Sweden and 9% in the US.
However
, while the figures for the Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
grew to about 15°o in around 199C, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
dipped to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25% for much of this period,
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before
rising to almost 5% again at the present time.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
percentages, the proportion of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
probably
continue to increase m the
next
two decades in the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. A more dramatic rise
is predicted
between 2030 and 2040 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, by which time it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the proportion of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be similar in the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the increase in the ageing population in Japan, Sweden and the USA.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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