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The line graph illustrates the different consumption of fish, chicken, beef,and lamb in European countries over the 25 years time period 1979-2004.

The line graph illustrates the different consumption of fish, chicken, beef, and lamb in European countries over the 25 years time period 1979-2004. yDo5r
We can see clearly from the line graph that overall consumption has decreased over a period of time, while only Chicken meat consumption has experienced an increase. At the beginning beef was the most consumed meat in Europe, however it overlapped with chicken meat in 1989 until 2004. Furthermore lamb meat was initially more popular compared to chicken meat, but in 1980 the consumption of chicken meat was overtaken by lamb meat. As chicken meat consumption experienced a dramatic increase for over 25 year, it initially began at 140 grams per person and then peaked at 240 grams per person. On the other hand, beef consumption used to be the highest meat consumption compared to the other category 220 grams per person. However it fell drastically until it reached 130 grams per person.
We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
from the line graph that
overall
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consumption
has decreased over a period of time, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Chicken
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meat
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consumption
has experienced an increase. At the beginning beef was the most consumed
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meat
in Europe,
however
it overlapped with chicken
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meat
in 1989 until 2004.
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Furthermore
lamb
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meat
was
initially
more popular compared to chicken
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meat
,
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but
in 1980 the
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consumption
of chicken
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meat
was overtaken
by lamb meat.

As chicken
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meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
experienced a dramatic increase for over 25 year, it
initially
began at 140
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grams
per
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person
and then peaked at 240
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grams
per
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person
.
On the other hand
, beef
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consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
compared to the other category 220
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it fell
drastically
until it reached 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.

IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the different consumption of fish, chicken, beef, and lamb in European countries over the 25 years time period 1979-2004.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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