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The given line graph illustrates the distinguished occupation patterns over the period of 80 years starting in 1930 in the USA.

The given line graph illustrates the distinguished occupation patterns over the period of 80 years starting in 1930 in the USA. m9l6N
The given line graph illustrates the distinguished occupation patterns over the period of 80 years starting in 1930 in the USA. Overall, a significant increase was witnessed in the percentage of the industrial, technical labor force, whereas the figure for Farming, fishing, and foresting continuously decreased throughout the period. The striking feature that we can see from the graph is the industrial employment became the most popular despite the fact that it was the lowest pattern at the beginning of the period. It is clear that, in 1930, farming, fishing and foresting was the most popular labor force with 75%, while the employment of industry, technology were at such a low percentage which is under 10%. In addition, the proportion of sale and office and other services were similar with 15% which is a fifth in that of industry. However, through 40 years, the number of employees in farming, fishing and foresting decreased dramatically to 60% and the other service also dropped slightly by 2%. In contrast, the percentage of sales and offices, industrial and technical ones saw a dramatic rise in 1970. On the other hand, in 2010, the percentage of industry continuously dropped to 1% and became the lowest one which is opposed to industrial employment. Sales and office, technical and industrial increased gradually from 1970 to 2010 about 20% to 25%. Other services can be seen that it fluctuated but stable from 1980 to 2010 around 10%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the distinguished occupation patterns over the period of 80 years starting in 1930 in the USA.

Overall
, a significant increase
was witnessed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
, technical labor force, whereas the figure for Farming, fishing, and foresting
continuously
decreased throughout the period. The striking feature that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the graph is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
employment became the most popular despite the fact that it was the lowest pattern at the beginning of the period.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, in 1930, farming, fishing and foresting was the most popular labor force with 75%, while the employment of industry, technology were at such a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
which is under 10%.
In addition
, the proportion of sale and office and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services were similar with 15% which is a fifth in that of industry.
However
, through 40 years, the number of employees in farming, fishing and foresting decreased
dramatically
to 60% and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
service
also
dropped
slightly
by 2%.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of sales and offices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
and technical ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a dramatic rise in 1970.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of industry
continuously
dropped to 1% and became the lowest one which
is opposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
employment. Sales and office, technical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
increased
gradually
from 1970 to 2010 about 20% to 25%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
services can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it fluctuated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
stable from 1980 to 2010 around 10%.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates the distinguished occupation patterns over the period of 80 years starting in 1930 in the USA.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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