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The line graph illustrates the data about how many people visited four various museums from 1980 to 2015.

The line graph illustrates the data about how many people visited four various museums from 1980 to 2015. j5QnM
The line graph illustrates the data about how many people visited four various museums from 1980 to 2015. Overall, at the beginning of giving period, the number of visitors in Louvre was the most significant factor, while the rest of museums except Vatican Museum, there was fluctuation. in 1980, there were 8 million people who visited Louvre Museum. Between 1985 ad 2000, There was fluctuation in the number of tourist. However, from the beginning of 2000, interest of tourists in Louvre museum increased and accounted for approximately 10 million in 2015. Likewise between 1980 and 2015, the public prefered to visit Vatican Museum and it rose from 5 million to 9 million. Nevertheless, the number of travelers declined from 4million to 2million over the period given in the London Science Museum. Furthermore, there was a small low in the number of trippers in Shenzhen Museum between 1980 and 2015. However, over the 15 years, a significant number of folk opted to trip Shenzhen museum and it made up 4 million people in 2015.
The line graph illustrates the data about how
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited four various
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museums
from 1980 to 2015.

Overall
, at the beginning of giving period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors in Louvre was the most significant factor, while the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
except Vatican
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Museum
, there was fluctuation.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
1980, there were 8
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who visited Louvre
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Museum
. Between 1985 ad 2000, There was fluctuation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of tourist.
However
, from the beginning of 2000, interest of tourists in Louvre
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museum
increased and accounted for approximately 10
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million
in 2015.
Likewise
between 1980 and 2015, the public
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to visit Vatican
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Museum
and it rose from 5
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million
to 9
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million
.
Nevertheless
, the
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number
of travelers declined from
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4million
to
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2million
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the London Science
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Museum
.
Furthermore
, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
low in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of trippers in Shenzhen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
between 1980 and 2015.
However
, over the 15 years, a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of folk opted to trip Shenzhen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and it made up 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2015.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the data about how many people visited four various museums from 1980 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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