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The line graph illustrates the amount of acid rain emission in four sectors in the UK in 16 years period from 1999 to 2007. The units are measured in million tones.

The line graph illustrates the amount of acid rain emission in four sectors in the UK in 16 years period from 1999 to 2007. The units are measured in million tones. MB2BQ
The line graph illustrates the amount of acid rain emission in four sectors in the UK in 16 years period from 1999 to 2007. The units are measured in million tones. Overall, it is clear that there was a significant declined of electricity, gas and water supply sector, while a slightly drooped of domestic and other industries. The only sector with an increasing number of acid rain emission was transportation and communication. It is noticeable that in 1991 the most significant acid rain emission was in electricity, gas and water supply at around 3. 3 million tones. Whereas, there was only less than 2. 5 million tones in other industries sector. On the other hand, the figure of electricity, gas and water supply decreased dramatically by the end of the period accounted for only 0. 5 million tones. Similarly, there was a gradually dropped in the amount of acid rain in others industries, however, this sector become the highest sector (over 1. 5 million tones) of acid rain emission in 2007. In terms of the remaining sectors (transport and communication and domestic), domestic was consistently accounted for the lowest, at the beginning both sectors comprised a similar rate around 0. 5 million tones. Transport and communication however fluctuated an remain the same rate as the beginning in the final year. Finally, the number of acid rain emissions slightly in domestic area fell to around 0. 2 million tones.
The line graph illustrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acid
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rain
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emission
in four
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sectors
in the UK in 16 years period from 1999 to 2007. The units
are measured
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
tones.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was a significant declined of electricity, gas and water supply
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sector
, while a
slightly
drooped of
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domestic
and
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other
industries. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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sector
with an increasing number of
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acid
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rain
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emission
was transportation and communication.

It is noticeable that in 1991 the most significant
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acid
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rain
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emission
was in electricity, gas and water supply at around 3. 3
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million
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tones
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than 2. 5
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million
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tones
in
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other
industries
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sector
. On the
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other
hand, the figure of electricity, gas and water supply decreased
dramatically
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tones
.
Similarly
, there was a
gradually
dropped in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acid
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rain
in others industries,
however
, this
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sector
become the highest
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sector
(over 1. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tones)
of
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acid
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rain
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emission
in 2007.

In terms of the remaining
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sectors
(transport and communication and
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domestic)
,
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domestic
was
consistently
accounted for the lowest, at the beginning both
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sectors
comprised a similar rate around 0. 5
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million
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tones
. Transport and communication
however
fluctuated
Did you mean "and"?
an
remain the same rate as the beginning in the final year.
Finally
, the number of
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acid
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rain
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emissions
slightly
in
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domestic
area fell to around 0. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tones
.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the amount of acid rain emission in four sectors in the UK in 16 years period from 1999 to 2007. The units are measured in million tones.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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