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The line graph illustrates data regarding how many diarrhea cases were registered in Mashhad over a nine-year period from 1983 to 1992.

The line graph illustrates data regarding how many diarrhea cases were registered in Mashhad over a nine-year period from 1983 to 1992. PryVK
The line graph illustrates data regarding how many diarrhea cases were registered in Mashhad  over a nine-year period from 1983 to 1992. As can be seen from the graph that the number of cases saw an upward trend at the beginning of the period shown, then it experienced a sharp increase followed by a drammatic decline. Turning to details, the figure started at 100 in 1983, and it remained almost unchanged during the next two years until 1985. Then, there was a gradual rise over next two years (1985-1987), after which the cases declined sharply to 100 which was the same as the begining of the period in 1988. However, the figure experienced a drammatic increase and reached a peak of 400 in 1989.
The line graph illustrates data regarding how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diarrhea cases
were registered
in Mashhad
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
over a nine-year period from 1983 to 1992.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that the number of cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an upward trend at the beginning of the period shown, then it experienced a sharp increase followed by a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drammatic
decline.

Turning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 100 in 1983, and it remained almost unchanged during the
next
two years until 1985. Then, there was a gradual rise over
next
two years (1985-1987), after which the cases declined
sharply
to 100 which was the same as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
begining
of the period in 1988.
However
, the figure experienced a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drammatic
increase and reached a peak of 400 in 1989.

IELTS academic The line graph illustrates data regarding how many diarrhea cases were registered in Mashhad over a nine-year period from 1983 to 1992.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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