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The line graph illustrate how much renewable energy was consumed by 6 distinct countries over the course of 40 years from 1971 to 2011

The line graph illustrate how much renewable energy was consumed by 6 distinct countries over the course of 40 years from 1971 to 2011 wewge
The line graph illustrate how much renewable energy was consumed by 6 distinct countries over the course of 40 years from 1971 to 2011 There was an increase in the amount of renewable energy in 6 different countries, with the United States witnessing the most dramatic rise. In addition, renewable energy user in Finland had highest figure throughout the period The amount of renewable energy using in Finland stared at shy of 25% of total the period, after which it experience a decline to 17% in 1996, before ending the period at 20% in 2006. The figure for France and Denmark was at 9% and 15% respectively in 1971, followed by an slow increase to 17% and 16% after 35 year Just under 5% of users consumed renewable energy in Germany and the United States, with a subsequent considerable rise to approximately 12% in 2006. Similar change can be seen in the figures for the United Kingdom. , which grew from 1% in 1971 to around 5% in 2006
The line graph illustrate how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was consumed
by 6 distinct countries over the course of 40 years from 1971 to 2011

There was an increase in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in 6
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, with the United States witnessing the most dramatic rise.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
user in Finland had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
figure throughout the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
period


The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
using in Finland stared at shy of 25% of total the period, after which it
Did you mean "experiences"?
experience
a decline to 17% in 1996,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ending the period at 20% in 2006. The figure for France and Denmark was at 9% and 15%
respectively
in 1971, followed by
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
slow increase to 17% and 16% after 35 year

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
under 5% of users consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Germany and the United States, with a subsequent considerable rise to approximately 12% in 2006. Similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the figures for the United Kingdom.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which grew from 1% in 1971 to around 5% in 2006
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrate how much renewable energy was consumed by 6 distinct countries over the course of 40 years from 1971 to 2011

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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