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The line graph illustrate comparison between facebook visit and orkuit visit on the web in 2010.

The line graph illustrate comparison between facebook visit and orkuit visit on the web in 2010. xDXLN
The line graph provide details of compassion between two sites facebook and Orkuit in social networking sites on the web in 2010. Undoubtedly, the data was calibrated in numbers. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that January, April, June and July display an downward trend whereas, maximum number of visit in October and December. Looking first at Facebook, proportion began with 30million in January continue rise steadily and accounted to 50 in May. Unfortunately, falling dramatically in June and remain same until July magnificently suging by 70 in August than fall marginally in September. Fluctuated in further monther and covering the period by 80 million in December. Concerning Or kut, starting from the Lowest point 10 million in January. The ratio of visit in February and March was 19 and 20 respectively. Carryon waving until August Surprisingly, climbed high at 70 million in September but finished the period at lower level comparative to Facebook by 40 million in December.
The line graph provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of compassion between two sites
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Orkuit
in social networking sites on the web in 2010.
Undoubtedly
, the data
was calibrated
in numbers.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that January, April, June and July display
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
downward trend whereas, maximum number of visit in October and December.

Looking
first
at Facebook, proportion began with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
30million
in January continue rise
steadily
and accounted to 50 in May. Unfortunately, falling
dramatically
in June and remain same until July
magnificently
Possible spelling mistake found.
suging
by 70 in August than fall
marginally
in September. Fluctuated in
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
monther
and covering the period by 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in December.

Concerning Or
Possible spelling mistake found.
kut
, starting from the Lowest point 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in January. The ratio of visit in February and March was 19 and 20
respectively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Carryon
waving until August
Surprisingly
, climbed high at 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in September
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
finished the period at lower level comparative to Facebook by 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in December.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrate comparison between facebook visit and orkuit visit on the web in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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