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The line graph gives us detailed data as to how much the U.S state spends on various kinds of research in a period of 18 years, from 1980 to 2008.

The line graph gives us detailed data as to how much the U. S state spends on various kinds of research in a period of 18 years, from 1980 to 2008. Oy2by
The line graph gives us detailed data as to how much the U. S state spends on various kinds of research in a period of 18 years, from 1980 to 2008. Overall, all of these researching aspects have slightly fluctuated with the exception of health health. Clearly, the largest amount of money seems to be invested in health scrutiny. In 1980, the spending on such aspects as health, space, energy and others was nearly similar, from $ 5 billions to about $ 8 billions. At the time, the American government didn’t care about general science and used the least amount to make an observation in this aspect, only over $ 3 billins. However, after a while, there were some serious changes. While aerospace, the process of finding new sources of energy and scientific investigation were supported with the same investment; medicine and therapeutic methods are specially concerned. Scientists and doctors have a larger budget only for carrying out medical experimentation. In 2004, the amount of money that researchers used to make experimentation hit a peak, about $22 billions. Nevertheless, after a long time, from 1980 to 2004, the investment in science and universe industry rose little by little and energy accompanied by others remained unchanged. In the last year - 2008, it took a smaller amount than before to support observations about illness ( approximately $18 billions) and other fields ( less or more than $ 5 billions). The government seems to have spent more money on general science, with $5 billions supported.
The line graph gives us detailed data as to how much the U. S state spends on various kinds of research in a period of 18 years, from 1980 to 2008.

Overall
, all of these researching aspects have
slightly
fluctuated
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Clearly
, the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of money seems to
be invested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
scrutiny.

In 1980, the spending on such aspects as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, space, energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
was
nearly
similar, from
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$5".
$ 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
to about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$8".
$ 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
. At the time, the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
didn’t care about general science and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an observation in this aspect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
over
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$3".
$ 3
Possible spelling mistake found.
billins
.
However
, after a while, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. While aerospace, the process of finding new sources of energy and scientific investigation
were supported
with the same investment; medicine and therapeutic methods are
specially
concerned. Scientists and doctors have a larger budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for carrying out medical experimentation.

In 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of money that researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
experimentation hit a peak, about $22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
.
Nevertheless
, after a long time, from 1980 to 2004, the investment in science and universe industry rose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
and energy accompanied by others remained unchanged. In the last year
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
2008, it took a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to support observations about illness
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
approximately $18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions)
and other fields
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
less or more than
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$5".
$ 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions)
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
seems to have spent more money on general science, with $5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
supported.
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IELTS academic The line graph gives us detailed data as to how much the U. S state spends on various kinds of research in a period of 18 years, from 1980 to 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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