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The bar chart presents information about the number of money earned from five kinds of goods that were exported by one country’s during 2015 and 2016.

The bar chart presents information about the number of money earned from five kinds of goods that were exported by one country’s during 2015 and 2016. Oy2p3
The bar chart presents information about the number of money earned from five kinds of goods that were exported by one country’s during 2015 and 2016. Generally, petroleum and engineered goods are the highest income that was earned during those periods whereas agricultural and textiles products were the least income that one country received. Following this data, in 2015, there are two goods that accounted for the most highly income products such as petroleum and engineered goods. Petroleum reached the highest amount by 60 billion dollars. While engineered goods accounted for approximately 55 billion. The rest of products accounted for less than 50 billion dollars namely gems and jewelry, agricultural, and textiles products accounted for approximately 41 billion, 31 billion, and 25 billion dollars respectively. 2016 has a similar trend with the last years. However, there was a slight difference in the amount. Same as in 2015, petroleum goods were still in the first rank, it was increased by 3%. While engineered goods climbed by 8. 5% it reached almost the same amount as petroleum at 62 billion. Gems and jewelry were slightly decreased by 5. 18% and agriculture showed a tiny growth of only 0. 81%. On the contrary, textile growth increased significantly by 15. 24%.
The bar chart presents information about the number of money earned from five kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that
were exported
by one country’s during 2015 and 2016.

Generally
,
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petroleum
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are the highest income that
was earned
during those periods whereas agricultural and textiles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were the least income that one country received.

Following this data, in 2015, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for the most
highly
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petroleum
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Petroleum
reached the highest amount by 60
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billion
dollars. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for approximately 55
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billion
. The rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for less than 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
dollars
namely
gems and jewelry, agricultural, and textiles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for approximately 41
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, 31
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
, and 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
dollars
respectively
.

2016 has a similar trend with the last years.
However
, there was a slight difference in the amount. Same as in 2015,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petroleum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
were
still
in the
first
rank, it
was increased
by 3%.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
climbed by 8. 5% it reached almost the same amount as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petroleum
at 62
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. Gems and jewelry were
slightly
decreased by 5. 18% and agriculture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a tiny growth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 81%.
On the contrary
, textile growth increased
significantly
by 15. 24%.
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IELTS academic The bar chart presents information about the number of money earned from five kinds of goods that were exported by one country’s during 2015 and 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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