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the line graph give information about the gold sale Dubai

the line graph give information about the gold sale Dubai m32GN
The line graph illustrate the gold sale Dubai fluctuated over a period of 12 months in 2002. It was evident that the figure of gold revenue Dubai remained relatively unchanged during the time shown. Additionally, sales were at their highest in March while the weakest sales figures could be observed in July and September. For the first months of the year, gold sale stood at 200 million dirhams and rose slightly to reach about 225 million in February. This was followed by another increase, although much steeper, in March when sales were almost 125 million dirhams higher than February. However, this upward trend was suddenly broken and sale plummeted over the next 4 months to reach a little over 100 million dirhams in July. August sale showed a significant rise back to January levels as figures nearly double, but it was not last as they dropped again in September to the same level as they were in July. October experienced a minimal increase of about 100 million dirhams in sales, after which sale figures levelled off and maintain static over the last two months of 2002.
The line graph illustrate the gold
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sale
Dubai fluctuated
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over
a period of 12
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months
in 2002.

It was evident that the
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figure
of gold revenue Dubai remained
relatively
unchanged during the time shown.
Additionally
,
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sales
were at their highest in March while the weakest
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sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
could
be observed
in July and September.

For the
first
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months
of the year, gold
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sale
stood at 200
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
and rose
slightly
to reach about 225
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million
in February. This
was followed
by another increase, although much steeper, in March when
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sales
were almost 125
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
higher than February.
However
, this upward trend was
suddenly
broken and
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sale
plummeted
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over
the
next
4
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months
to reach a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in July.

August
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sale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a significant rise back to January levels as
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figures
nearly
double,
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but
it was not last as they dropped again in September to the same level as they were in July. October experienced a minimal increase of about 100
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in
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sales
, after which
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sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
levelled off and maintain static
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the last two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
of 2002.

IELTS academic the line graph give information about the gold sale Dubai

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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