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Enrolment of overseas students and local students over 10 years in Australia

Enrolment of overseas students and local students over 10 years in Australia bxDYQ
The line chart elucidates the admission of the number of abroad students and indigenous students over a decade in the universities of Australia. This indicates the total number of students studying in the country over a period of time. Overall, the foreign and domestic learners have a significant increase in the number. While the foreign students, commencing has a constant increase in the data, the data of native students fluctuates. The students studying locally are significantly higher than the foreign students. The total number of students increases consistently over a period of time for both local and overseas students. The international students have a consistent increase in commencing and total number. Commencing children, in 2001 has an approximate number of 15000 whereas total students are 20000. The total has a steady incline over 10 years and the highest went to 82500 in 2010. The commencing students have an increase till 2009 of around 40000 with a slight increase in 2010 of around 500. Native students have a major start of 400000 in 2001 of total students, although the commencing students were only 180000. Commencing has a slight increase in 2002 of 225000 but dwindles in 2003 with stability till 2007. After that, there is a slight increase in 2008 and then again a drop in 2009-10. The total graph significantly increased to almost 6, 00, 000 in 2007 where the number of commencing also increased. The data after 2007 did not show any changes in the total number of domestic students.
The line chart elucidates the admission of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of abroad
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students
and indigenous
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students
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over
a decade in the universities of Australia. This indicates the
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total
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number
of
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students
studying in the country
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over
a period of time.

Overall
, the foreign and domestic learners have a significant
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increase
in the
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number
. While the foreign
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students
,
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commencing
has a constant
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increase
in the data, the data of native
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students
fluctuates. The
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students
studying
locally
are
significantly
higher than the foreign
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students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
consistently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a period of time for both local and overseas students.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
international
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students
have a consistent
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increase
in
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commencing
and
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Commencing
children, in 2001 has an approximate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 15000 whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are 20000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
has a steady incline
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over
10 years and the highest went to 82500 in 2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have an
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increase
till 2009 of around 40000 with a slight
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increase
in 2010 of around 500.

Native
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students
have a major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of 400000 in 2001 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, although the
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commencing
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students
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
180000.
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Commencing
has a slight
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increase
in 2002 of 225000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
dwindles in 2003 with stability till 2007. After that, there is a slight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in 2008 and then again a drop in 2009-10. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
graph
significantly
increased to almost 6, 00, 000 in 2007 where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
also
increased. The data after 2007 did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic Enrolment of overseas students and local students over 10 years in Australia

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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