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people speaking languages other than Enlgish

people speaking languages other than Enlgish Dw26E
The chart shows the amount of British students at a university, speaking languages other than English, in 2000 and 2010. The number of students speaking only English in 2000 is double that in 2010, with a score 15%n and 30% respectively, however the ratio of people speaking Germany is still the same in these two years with a score of 10%. The percentage of people speaking only French, was 15% in 2000, and dropped to zero in 2010, where as that of people speaking only Spanish was 30% in 2000, and then increased to 35% in 2010, moreover there is a 5% increase in this proportion of people speaking another language, and 2 other languages where they score 15%, 20% in 2000, and then increased to 20%, and 25% in 2010. The chart illustrates that the quantity of people speaking 2 other languages, another one, Spanish only, and German only are approximately the same, compared to the difference done in those speaking only English, and only French.
The chart
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shows
the amount of British students at a university, speaking
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languages
other than English, in 2000 and 2010. The number of students speaking
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only
English in 2000 is double that in 2010, with a score 15%n and 30%
respectively
,
however
the ratio of
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people
speaking Germany is
still
the same in these two years with a score of 10%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
percentage of
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people
speaking
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only
French, was 15% in 2000, and dropped to zero in 2010,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
that of
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people
speaking
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only
Spanish was 30% in 2000, and then increased to 35% in 2010,
moreover
there is a 5% increase in this proportion of
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people
speaking another
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language
, and 2 other
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languages
where they score 15%, 20% in 2000, and then increased to 20%, and 25% in 2010.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
chart illustrates that the quantity of
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people
speaking 2 other
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languages
, another one, Spanish
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only
, and German
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only
are approximately the same, compared to the difference done in those speaking
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only
English, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
French.
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IELTS academic people speaking languages other than Enlgish

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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