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The line graph demonstrates three kind of spreads consumption by grams over 26 years period.

The line graph demonstrates three kind of spreads consumption by grams over 26 years period. WEX8b
The line graph demonstrates three kind of spreads consumption by grams over 26 years period. Overall, it is obvious that although the butter was commonly consumed spread in early 1980’s, its place overtaken by margarine in 1990’s. The butter was commonly consumed food in early 1980’s by 140 grams, it reach a peak of it in 1986 with about 158 grams consumption. However, margarine started period at 90 grams, it slightly fell in 1986, then experienced gradual increase until 1991. Starting from 1990’s butter plumped until 2000’s, then shows gradually decline, whilst margarine stabilized in 1990’s and it hit a through in 2007 by 40 grams consumption. In 1996, low fat and reduced spreads produced, although it was not preferred by people at first introduction, only consumed approximately 10 grams, then it skyrocketed until beginning of 2000’s, reach a peak at 90 grams. Starting from early 2000’s it witnessed decline, but overtook the place of butter in 1980’s, become most preferred spread in 2007 by about 70 grams.
The line graph demonstrates three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
consumption by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
over 26 years period.

Overall
, it is obvious that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
was
commonly
consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
in early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1980s".
1980’s
, its place overtaken by margarine
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990’s".
in 1990’s
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
was
commonly
consumed food in early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1980s".
1980’s
by 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, it
Did you mean "reaches"?
reach
a peak of it in 1986 with about 158
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
consumption.
However
, margarine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
period at 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, it
slightly
fell in 1986, then experienced gradual increase until 1991. Starting from
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1990s".
1990’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
plumped until
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "2000s".
2000’s
, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
gradually
decline, whilst margarine stabilized
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990’s".
in 1990’s
and it hit a
Did you mean "thorough" (accurate, exhaustive)?
through
in 2007 by 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
consumption.

In 1996, low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
produced, although it was not preferred by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at
first
introduction,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consumed approximately 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, then it skyrocketed until beginning of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "2000s".
2000’s
, reach a peak at 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. Starting from early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "2000s".
2000’s
it witnessed decline,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
overtook the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1980’s".
in 1980’s
, become most preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
in 2007 by about 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
.
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IELTS academic The line graph demonstrates three kind of spreads consumption by grams over 26 years period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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