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please complete this process essay. look at the sample answer and use it as a guide...

please complete this process essay. look at the sample answer and use it as a guide. . . AP2QM
The diagram shows the cycle of how sea life, fish, plants, and animals are killed by gas and liquid pollution. As can be seen from the chart, there are 2 major stages starting the terms of liquid and gas pollution released from factories, and ending that its effect on the environment. At the first stage of the process, factories produce gas pollution and liquid pollution. Then Gas pollution rises up in the air to form clouds then. After being acid rain, it falls down the land, leading to damages to plants and animals. On the other hand, Liquid pollution is pumped into rivers. According to the flow of rivers, this pollution is carried to the sea by the flow of rivers. Finally, sea life and fish are killed in this way.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the cycle of how sea life, fish, plants, and animals
are killed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
and liquid pollution.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, there are 2 major stages starting the terms of liquid and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
released from factories, and ending that its effect on the environment.

At the
first
stage of the process, factories produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and liquid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
rises up in the air to form clouds then. After being acid rain, it falls down the land, leading to damages to plants and animals.

On the other hand
, Liquid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is pumped
into rivers. According to the flow of rivers, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is carried
to the sea by the flow of rivers.
Finally
, sea life and fish
are killed
in this way.
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IELTS academic please complete this process essay. look at the sample answer and use it as a guide. . .

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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