Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The line graph demonstrates how many visitors per month went to three museums which are the British Museum, the Science Museum, and the Natural History Museum in summer 2013.

The line graph demonstrates how many visitors per month went to three museums which are the British Museum, the Science Museum, and the Natural History Museum in summer 2013. b3DV6
The line graph demonstrates how many visitors per month went to three museums which are the British Museum, the Science Museum, and the Natural History Museum in summer 2013. Overall, the number of people who visited the British Museum was always the highest although there were fluctuations in the figures for all the three museums. Looking at the data in the British Museum, at the beginning, it stood at exactly 600 thousand before increasing significantly and reaching a peak of about 750 thousand in July. After that, because of a sharp decrease, this figure fell to the lowest point of 500 thousand in the next month. However, the last year of the given period witnessed a considerable growth of 150 thousand people who went to the British Museum. Regarding the Natural History Museum, the number of visitors who travelled to this destination experienced a noticeable decline of 200 thousand people in the first month. After that, this figure remained unchanged at below 400 thousand before rising to approximately 470 thousand in September. As far as the Science Museum is concerned, the data went down and reached its bottom of 300 thousand. In addition, a moderate increase to 450 thousand in this figure was reported between August and September.
The line graph demonstrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors per month went to three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which are the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, the Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, and the Natural History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in summer 2013.

Overall
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who visited the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
was always the highest although there were fluctuations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for all the three museums.

Looking at the data in the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, at the beginning, it stood at exactly 600 thousand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing
significantly
and reaching a peak of about 750 thousand in July. After that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a sharp decrease, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
fell to the lowest point of 500 thousand in the
next
month.
However
, the last year of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period witnessed a considerable growth of 150 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who went to the British Museum.

Regarding the Natural History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, the number of visitors who travelled to this destination experienced a noticeable decline of 200 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
first
month. After that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
remained unchanged at below 400 thousand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising to approximately 470 thousand in September. As far as the Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
is concerned
, the data went down and reached its bottom of 300 thousand.
In addition
, a moderate increase to 450 thousand in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was reported
between August and September.

IELTS academic The line graph demonstrates how many visitors per month went to three museums which are the British Museum, the Science Museum, and the Natural History Museum in summer 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The line graph demonstrates how many visitors per month went to three museums which are the British Museum, the Science Museum, and the Natural History Museum in summer 2013.