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Average Household Expenditures by Major Category

Average Household Expenditures by Major Category b3DaX
The two pie charts give information about household expenditure on goods and services in 1950 and 2010. It is immediately obvious that there are some quite significant differences between the two charts. In 2010 the largest proportion of expenditure was on food whereas in 1950 it was on housing, with food for just 11. 2%. There is a great difference in terms of housing expenditure between the two years. In 1950 72. 1% of the total household budget went towards housing, compared to only 22% in 2010. There has been a notable increase in the amount of money spent on transportation between the two dates. In addition, the charts show a significant rise in the proportion of money spent on health care in 2010 compared to 1950. There are some similarities, however. For example, in both 1950 and 2010 the proportion of education expenditure was roughly the same.
The two pie charts give information about household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in 1950 and 2010. It is immediately obvious that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quite significant differences between the two charts.

In 2010 the largest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
was on food whereas in 1950 it was on housing, with food for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
11. 2%. There is a great difference in terms of housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
between the two years. In 1950 72. 1% of the total household budget went towards housing, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% in 2010.

There has been a notable increase in the amount of money spent on transportation between the two dates.
In addition
, the charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a significant rise in the proportion of money spent on health care in 2010 compared to 1950.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities,
however
.
For example
, in both 1950 and 2010 the proportion of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
was roughly the same.

IELTS academic Average Household Expenditures by Major Category

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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