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The maps demonstrate the changes to the centre of Paris, where a company wants to open a new restaurant in the area.

The maps demonstrate the changes to the centre of Paris, where a company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. M3l79
The maps demonstrate the changes to the centre of Paris, where a company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. Overall, it is interesting to note the most significant difference between two locations. The first location is near the recreational areas related to the sea, while the second location is in the vicinity of the most celebrated places for tourists. Location 1, is on the Right Bank, which is to the north-west of the centre of Paris. This location is next to the park and a view of the river with the Eiffel Tower. On the east side of this park is the Aquarium which attracts 2000 visitors each day. In addition, nearby it has a Maritime Museum which attracts 8000 visitors each day. Location 2, is on the Left Bank, which is to the south-east of the centre of Paris. It between the Eiffel Tower and the Art Gallery. Therefore, location 2 has a better view of the Eiffel Tower. This place would be good for the 8000 visitors of the Maritime Museum, and 750 visitors of the Art Gallery. Besides, this location is near the park. In addition, location 2 is near the Sports Centre, which attracts 500 visitors each day.
The maps demonstrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of Paris, where a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wants to open a new restaurant in the area.

Overall
, it is interesting to note the most significant difference between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
is near the recreational areas related to the sea, while the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
is in the vicinity of the most celebrated places for tourists.

Location 1, is on the Right Bank, which is to the north-west of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of Paris. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
is
next
to the park and a view of the river with the Eiffel Tower. On the east side of this park is the Aquarium which attracts 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
each day.
In addition
, nearby it has a Maritime Museum which attracts 8000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
each day.

Location 2, is on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Left
Bank, which is to the south-east of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of Paris. It between the Eiffel Tower and the Art Gallery.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
2 has a better view of the Eiffel Tower. This place would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the 8000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
of the Maritime Museum, and 750
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
of the Art Gallery.
Besides
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
is near the park.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
2 is near the Sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
, which attracts 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
each day.
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IELTS academic The maps demonstrate the changes to the centre of Paris, where a company wants to open a new restaurant in the area.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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