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The line graph compares the population size as well as the birth and the mortality rate in England and Wales over the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000.

The line graph compares the population size as well as the birth and the mortality rate in England and Wales over the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000. a0aX
The line graph compares the population size as well as the birth and the mortality rate in England and Wales over the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000. The population is given in millions and the birth and death rates per 1000 people. Overall, the population rate of England and Wales showed an upward trend, whereas, death and birth rate showed a fluctuating trend. The birth rate was constantly higher than the death rate over the period given. As the diagram suggests, the death and birth rate followed a similar trend from 1700-1950. From 1700 to 1750, both rates experienced a significant increase, with the birth rate rose from 30 to 40 birth per 1000 people and mortality rate increased from around 27 to 37 per 1000 people. There was stability in both fractions, before sharp declining from 1800 to 1950, which made up 20 and just above 20 for death rate and birth rate respectively. After that, death rate remained stable. However, birth rate was spiked to almost 34 per 1000 people in 2000. On the other side, the population rate started with the least number at around 2. 5 million. It rocketed in three centuries, which constituted 50 million in 2000 with a stabilized period between 1750 and 1850 at 10 million.
The line graph compares the
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population
size
as well
as the
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birth
and the mortality
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rate
in England and Wales over the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000. The
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population
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
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millions
and the
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birth
and death
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rates
per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, the
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population
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rate
of England and Wales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend, whereas, death and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fluctuating trend. The
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
constantly
higher than the death
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rate
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

As the diagram suggests, the death and
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
followed a similar trend from 1700-1950. From 1700 to 1750, both
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rates
experienced a significant increase, with the
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birth
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rate
rose from 30 to 40
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birth
per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and mortality
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rate
increased from around 27 to 37 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There was stability in both fractions,
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before
sharp declining from 1800 to 1950, which made up 20 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20 for death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and
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birth
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rate
respectively
. After that, death
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rate
remained stable.
However
,
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birth
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rate
was spiked
to almost 34 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2000.

On the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with the least number at around 2. 5
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million
. It rocketed in three centuries, which constituted 50
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million
in 2000 with a stabilized period between 1750 and 1850 at 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic The line graph compares the population size as well as the birth and the mortality rate in England and Wales over the span of three centuries, from 1700 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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