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The given bar chart demonstrates the time spent by 10 to 15 - ỷear- olds on an average school day in the Uk, includes chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles.

The given bar chart demonstrates the time spent by 10 to 15 - ỷear- olds on an average school day in the Uk, includes chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles. WWdk
The given bar chart demonstrates the time spent by 10 to 15 - ỷear- olds on an average school day in the Uk, includes chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles. Overall, it can be seen that girls spare themselves more time chatting online comparing to that of boys. However, it follows a fairly different pattern regarding playing on computer games. The amount of time boys play greatly outnumbers the girl’s actual time spending on games consoles. Trend shows that nearly 70% of girls aged between 10 to 15-year-olds favour engage in online conversations over playing pre-programmed virtual games on computers with roughly 50%. Over 30% of girls spend 1 to 3 hours chatting online, which well over doubles the figure of playing human-generated games console. Of the girls who do play games, a big majority of them spend less than an hour for this activity, whereas most of them who prefers to chat online spend more than an hour, and about 10% spend more than 3 hours chatting online. By contrast, we can clearly see that over 80% of boys aged between 10 to 15-year-olds have an obvious tendency to play computer games more than chat with people online. Roughly 72% spend 1 to 3 hours to play video games, which is nearly 3 times higher than the propotion of chatting on the Internet. Similarly, about 10% spend nearly 4 hours immersing in computer games. However, the time percentage of boys chatting on the internet and playing games in less than an hour are almost the same, stand at nearly 28% at least and 30% at most.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent by 10 to 15
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
ỷear
- olds on an average school day in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
, includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the Internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
consoles.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
spare themselves more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
comparing to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
However
, it follows a
fairly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pattern regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
greatly
outnumbers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl’s
actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
consoles.

Trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
aged between 10 to 15-year-olds
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conversations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-programmed
virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computers with roughly 50%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
1 to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, which well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
doubles the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
human-generated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
console. Of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
majority of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
less than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
for this activity, whereas most of them who prefers to chat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
, and about 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
online.

By contrast, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
aged between 10 to 15-year-olds have an obvious tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
more than chat with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Roughly 72%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
1 to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
higher than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
propotion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the Internet.
Similarly
, about 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
immersing in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in less than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
are almost the same, stand at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
28% at least and 30% at most.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart demonstrates the time spent by 10 to 15 - ỷear- olds on an average school day in the Uk, includes chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The given bar chart demonstrates the time spent by 10 to 15 - ỷear- olds on an average school day in the Uk, includes chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles.