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The line graph compares the number of Vietnamese who were enrolled as students in France, Russia and America during the fifteen-year period starting in 2000.

The line graph compares the number of Vietnamese who were enrolled as students in France, Russia and America during the fifteen-year period starting in 2000. y7rmg
The line graph compares the number of Vietnamese who were enrolled as students in France, Russia and America during the fifteen-year period starting in 2000. Data points are averaged over every five-year span. Overall, there were many more Vietnamese in school in these countries in 2015 than in 2000, as the total had risen from 8 to 12 million. Those enrolled in American schools accounted for most of that increase, with France contributing moderately. The numbers in Russia, in contrast, decreased. In 2000, France had the largest number, 3. 5 million, followed by Russia at 3 million. Enrollments in the US were half that of Russia, 1. 5 million. During the next five years, the numbers in France and Russia declined, France by a full million and a little less than that in Russia. Meanwhile it rose in the US by about a half million. Consequently, the total in 2005 was actually less than in 2000, between 6. 5 and 7 million. The situation reversed in 2010 when the US had the most students, 3 million, followed by France at 2. 5 and Russia, about 1. 8 million. That represented the smallest number of students in any of the countries during the entire period. At the last point on the graph, 2015, the US was clearly in the lead, with 5 million, more than triple the number that were attending schools there in 2000. France came in a relatively close second at 4. 5 million and Russia third, half the number as the US.
The line graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Vietnamese who
were enrolled
as students in France, Russia and America during the fifteen-year period starting in 2000. Data points
are averaged
over every five-year span.

Overall
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more Vietnamese in school in these countries in 2015 than in 2000, as the total had risen from 8 to 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Those enrolled in American schools accounted for most of that increase, with France contributing
moderately
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in Russia,
in contrast
, decreased.

In 2000, France had the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
, 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, followed by Russia at 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Enrollments in the US were half that of Russia, 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. During the
next
five years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in France and Russia declined, France by a full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than that in Russia.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
it rose in the US by about a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Consequently
, the total in 2005 was actually less than in 2000, between 6. 5 and 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The situation reversed in 2010 when the US had the most students, 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, followed by France at 2. 5 and Russia, about 1. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. That represented the smallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students in any of the countries during the entire period. At the last point on the graph, 2015, the US was
clearly
in the lead, with 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, more than triple the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
that were attending schools there in 2000. France came in a
relatively
close second at 4. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and Russia third, half the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
as the US.
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IELTS academic The line graph compares the number of Vietnamese who were enrolled as students in France, Russia and America during the fifteen-year period starting in 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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