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check the park after changes

check the park after changes O6N27
The given maps compare Grand Park when it was founded in 1920 and after improvement today. As it is shown in the pictures, some big changes have been happened. There were a stage for musicians, pond for water and a glass house which have already changed to amphitheatre for concerts, children’s play area and water features, respectively. On the other hand, there were three Rose gardens in the park in 1920 which only one of them has remained at the same place as where before. The Rose garden which was the nearest to the upper entrance has been substituted by a Café. Also, a bigger square rose garden has been constructed in the middle of the park, exactly where there was a fountain in 1920. The number of seats hase been decreased, as well. Although, these seats were spreaded around the park before, they are already located around the biggest Rose garden in the middle of the park. The last but not least, although, the entrances have faced any changes since 1920, another entrance has been added under the ground as car park
The
given
maps compare Grand
Park
when it
was founded
in 1920 and after improvement
today
.

As it
is shown
in the pictures,
some
big
changes
have
been happened
. There were a stage for musicians, pond for water and a glass
house
which have already
changed
to
amphitheatre
for concerts, children’s play area and water features,
respectively
.

On the other hand
, there were three
Rose
gardens
in the
park
in 1920 which
only
one of them has remained at the same place as where
before
. The
Rose
garden
which was the nearest to the upper entrance has
been substituted
by a Café.
Also
, a bigger square
rose
garden
has
been constructed
in the middle of the
park
, exactly where there was a fountain in 1920. The number of seats
hase
been decreased
,
as well
. Although, these seats were
spreaded
around the
park
before
, they are already located around the biggest
Rose
garden
in the middle of the park.

The last
but
not least, although, the entrances have faced any
changes
since 1920, another entrance has been
added
under the ground as car
park
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IELTS academic check the park after changes

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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