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The line graph compares the consumption of six different types of energy in the United States from 1980 to 2008, and also give a projection until 2030

The line graph compares the consumption of six different types of energy in the United States from 1980 to 2008, and also give a projection until 2030 QlLPw
The line graph compares the consumption of six different types of energy in the United States from 1980 to 2008, and also give a projection until 2030 As is illustrated in the graph, the energy consumption shows a general trend that is an upward trend over a 50-year period, except hydropower. Petrol and Oil were the sources consumed the most, while nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower seemed not to be widely used. In 1980, the amount of oil and petrol consumed was 35 quadrillion units, fluctuating until 200, rising to approximately 40 quadrillion units over a 28-year period and it is predicted to rise dramatically to nearly 50 quadrillion units in 2030. Furthermore, coal consumption showed a familiar trend with oil and petrol, starting from 16 quadrillion units and then increased sharply with a projection of nearly 35 quadrillion units by 2030. In addition, Natural gas experienced a fluctuation, starting from 20 quadrillion units and it is anticipated to remain until 2030 It is clear that nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower began at under 5 quadrillion units. The amount of nuclear used was 5 quadrillion units in 1980 and then rose slightly with an expectation of reaching 7 quadrillion units over a 50-year timescale. There was a steady level-off in the figure of solar/wind consumed from 1980 to 2005 and it is anticipated to increased slightly again to over 5 in 2030, whereas hydropower illustrated a downward trend with an expectation of 3 quadrillion units until 2030
The line graph compares the consumption of six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of energy in the United States from 1980 to 2008, and
also
give a projection until 2030

As
is illustrated
in the graph, the energy consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
that is
an upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a 50-year period, except hydropower. Petrol and Oil were the sources consumed the most, while nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower seemed not to be
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

In 1980, the amount of oil and petrol consumed was 35 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, fluctuating until 200, rising to approximately 40 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a 28-year period and it
is predicted
to rise
dramatically
to
nearly
50 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 2030.
Furthermore
, coal consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a familiar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
with oil and petrol, starting from 16 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and then increased
sharply
with a projection of
nearly
35 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
by 2030.
In addition
, Natural gas experienced a fluctuation, starting from 20 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and it
is anticipated
to remain until 2030

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower began at under 5 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
. The amount of nuclear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
was 5 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 1980 and then rose
slightly
with an expectation of reaching 7 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a 50-year timescale. There was a steady level-off in the figure of solar/wind consumed from 1980 to 2005 and it
is anticipated
to increased
slightly
again to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
5 in 2030, whereas hydropower illustrated a downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
with an expectation of 3 quadrillion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
until 2030

IELTS academic The line graph compares the consumption of six different types of energy in the United States from 1980 to 2008, and also give a projection until 2030

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
244 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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