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Number of readers in Burnaby Public Library

Number of readers in Burnaby Public Library kxYne
The graph depicts the number of books read by both men and women in a period of 4 years from 2011 to 2014 at the Burnaby Public Library. It is very evident that the number of men that read books during that year 2011 were fairly low in contrast to the women readers. It is also observed that the number of women that read books was two times more than that of men readers. However, as years passed by, there is drastic change in both the men and women readers. the Burnaby Public Library started to see a greater number of men while fewer number of women in the consequent years. In the graph of both men and women, a peak is observed in the years 2012 and 2013 where the peak in 2012 later showed an increase in the number of men readers from only 4000 in 2012whilst 2013 exhibited a decrease in the number of women readers from 10000 in 2013 to 8000 in 2014 in the successive years.
The graph depicts the
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number
of books read by both
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men
and
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women
in a period of 4 years from 2011 to 2014 at the
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Burnaby
Public Library.

It is
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very
evident that the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
that read books during that
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year
2011 were
fairly
low
in contrast
to the
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women
readers. It is
also
observed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
that read books was two times more than that of
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men
readers.

However
, as years passed by, there is drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
readers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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Burnaby
Public Library
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started
to
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see
a greater
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
while fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the consequent years.

In the graph of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, a peak
is observed
in the years 2012 and 2013 where the peak in 2012 later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
readers from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4000 in 2012whilst 2013 exhibited a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
readers from 10000 in 2013 to 8000 in 2014 in the successive years.
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IELTS academic Number of readers in Burnaby Public Library

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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