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The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.

The Graph line illustrates The percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attraction in Edinburgh over thirty years from 1980 to 2010. With regards to the percentage of tourists who visited The Castle, There was a increase sharply between 1985 and 1995 and then it dropped down. While the percentage of visitor who visited The Zoo at first Fluctuated sharply from 1980 to 1990 but it reduced slightly. On the other hand, there was a fluctuation between 1980 and 2000 in the percentage of visitor who visited the Aquarium and then it rose sharply. About the tourists who visited The Festival it remained stable and just there was a slight decrease at 10 years firstly. Overall, The percentage of tourists who visited The castle and The Zoo attraction in over the period given had a reduce. while, there was slight increase in visitors who visited The festival and Aquarium.
The Graph line illustrates The
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percentage
of
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tourists
to Scotland
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who
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visited
four
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different
attraction in Edinburgh over thirty years from 1980 to 2010. With regards to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
The Castle, There was a increase
sharply
between 1985 and 1995 and then it dropped down. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of visitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
The Zoo at
first
Fluctuated
sharply
from 1980 to 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
slightly
.
On the other hand
, there was a fluctuation between 1980 and 2000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of visitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
the Aquarium and then it rose
sharply
. About the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
The Festival it remained stable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
there was a slight decrease at 10 years
firstly
.
Overall
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
The castle and The Zoo attraction in over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. while, there was slight increase in visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
The festival and Aquarium.

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.