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The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. yr6d
The polyline graph illustrates the proportion of visitors to England who went to four separate tourist attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that the percentage visiting the Pavilion and the Pier increased over the period. While the proportion of travellers to other attractions decreased. In 1980, only 10% of tourist to England went to Pier. Despite some minor fluctuations, this figure rose from around 9% in 1990 to 22% in 2010. The percentage visiting the Pavilion also increased, from approximately 23% in 1980 to almost 50% in 1995. However, this figure then decreased significantly, to about 35% in 2000 and then to roughly 31% in 2010, slightly higher than the Festival. The most popular Brighton attraction in 1980 for visitors to England was the Festival. Although 30% of these attended the Festival in 1980, by 2010 this percentage fell slightly to 28%. In 1980, the figure for tourists to the Art Gallery was 21%. It then grew to a peak of around 38%, before falling noticeably to exactly 20% in 1990. It continued to drop to less than 10% in 2010. It was, therefore, the least popular attraction at the end of the period
The
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polyline
graph illustrates the proportion of visitors to England who went to four separate

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage visiting the Pavilion and the Pier increased over the period.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
decreased.

In 1980,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of tourist to England went to Pier. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor fluctuations, this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
figure


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rose
from around 9% in 1990 to 22% in 2010. The percentage visiting the Pavilion
also
increased,

from approximately 23% in 1980 to almost 50% in 1995.
However
, this figure then decreased

significantly
, to about 35% in 2000 and then to roughly 31% in 2010,
slightly
higher than the

Festival.

The most popular Brighton
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
in 1980 for visitors to England was the Festival. Although 30%

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
these attended the Festival in 1980, by 2010 this percentage fell
slightly
to 28%. In 1980,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
figure
for tourists to the Art Gallery was 21%. It then grew to a peak of around 38%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
falling


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
noticeably
to exactly 20% in 1990. It continued to drop to less than 10% in 2010.

It was,
therefore
, the least popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

Academic
  American English
14 paragraphs
198 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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