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The line chart shows how much money an individual bakery store gained every month through the disposal of their three most popular products in 2014.

The line chart shows how much money an individual bakery store gained every month through the disposal of their three most popular products in 2014. AV0w
The line chart shows how much money an individual bakery store gained every month through the disposal of their three most popular products in 2014. According to this diagram, bread has been much more profitable than buns and pies at the end of the year. In January, bread started with a value of sale about $ 80. 000, but declined right at the beginning of the year to about $ 45. 000 in March and then fluctuated between figures of $ 40. 000 and $ 65. 000. However, through an abrupt growth since August, bread ended up at the same level as at the beginning. In contrast to this development, buns started with half of the breads value ($ 40. 000) and increased steadily to $ 70. 000, where it plateaued from May until August. So during the summer month buns were the most profitable products. Finally, they fell dramatically during the autumn and December, so that they finished the year with the smallest sum ($ 30. 000). Starting with the lowest value of all items, the pies rose slowly from $ 10. 000 in January to $ 20. 000 in August. At this level they remained stable until October. Within the last two months of the period they have doubled rapidly and closed up with $ 40. 000 just ahead of the buns with a difference of $ 10. 000.
The line chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much money an individual bakery store gained every month through the disposal of their three most popular products in 2014. According to this diagram, bread has been much more profitable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buns
and pies at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

In January, bread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with a value of sale about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$80".
$ 80
. 000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
declined right at the beginning of the year to about
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$45".
$ 45
. 000 in March and then fluctuated between figures of
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$40".
$ 40
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
000
and
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$65".
$ 65
. 000.
However
, through an abrupt growth since August, bread ended up at the same level as at the beginning.

In contrast
to this development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with half of the breads value (
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$40".
$ 40
. 000) and increased
steadily
to
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$70".
$ 70
. 000, where it plateaued from May until August.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
during the summer month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buns
were the most profitable products.
Finally
, they fell
dramatically
during the autumn and December,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they finished the year with the smallest sum (
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$30".
$ 30
. 000).

Starting with the lowest value of all items, the pies rose
slowly
from
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$10".
$ 10
. 000 in January to
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$20".
$ 20
. 000 in August. At this level they remained stable until October. Within the last two months of the period they have doubled
rapidly
and closed up with
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$40".
$ 40
. 000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ahead of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buns
with a difference of
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$10".
$ 10
. 000.
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IELTS academic The line chart shows how much money an individual bakery store gained every month through the disposal of their three most popular products in 2014.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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