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The bar chart shows British Emigration selected to destinations between 2004 and 2007.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows British Emigration selected to destinations between 2004 and 2007. 62EG
The given bar chart illustrates the popular visit places for English people in between 2004 to 2007. Overall, as shown in chart, the figure had followed the downward trend throughout the period, while Australia remains the most demanded destination among British citizen. To begin with, Australia was most selected place for British in 2004, the figure was recorded over 40, 000, which is 6000 higher than Spain and around twice for others. Apart from a jump to over 50, 000 in 2006, it remains around in same level in others years. However, Spain was second visited country with roughly same figure in 2004 and 2005 but the popularity decline by nearly 10, 000 in 2007. Whereas, approximately 23, 000 was accounted in 2004 for New Zealand, and this figure fell at roughly 20, 000 in 2007. Moreover, by following erratic trend, USA remain level of nearly 20, 000 to 25, 000 throughout the whole period. Although, France upsurged its figure up to 35, 000 in 2005, which is higher by 10, 000 than 2004, while following downward trend, the popularity ends up with just above 15, 000 in 2007.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the popular visit places for English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2004 and 2007".
between 2004 to 2007
.

Overall
, as shown in chart, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
had followed the downward trend throughout the period, while Australia remains the most demanded destination among British citizen.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Australia was most selected place for British in 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was recorded
over 40, 000, which is 6000 higher than Spain and around twice for others. Apart from a jump to over 50, 000 in 2006, it remains around in same level in others years.

However
, Spain was second visited country with roughly same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in 2004 and 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the popularity decline by
nearly
10, 000 in 2007. Whereas, approximately 23, 000
was accounted
in 2004 for New Zealand, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
fell at roughly 20, 000 in 2007.
Moreover
, by following erratic trend, USA remain level of
nearly
20, 000 to 25, 000 throughout the whole period.

Although, France upsurged its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
up to 35, 000 in 2005, which is higher by 10, 000 than 2004, while following downward trend, the popularity ends up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 15, 000 in 2007.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows British Emigration selected to destinations between 2004 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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