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The line chart show the production and demand of steel industry in 2010.

The line chart show the production and demand of steel industry in 2010. raY0L
The linear representation delineates the information regarding the construction and desires for stell and frequency of employees in steel company in 2010. The data is calibrated in million tonnes. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that there were maximum production of steel in August while, the actual demand of steel were less in beginning of December. To embark with, the proportion of steel manufacturing were begun to rose in January from 4000 million tonnes and eventually reached at peakest level with approximately 5000 million tonnes. In addition, the production of steel were fell down again at just 4000 tonnes. The construction of steel remain stable till August and gradually declined at near about 3000 million tonnes. Besides, there were significantly growth in production of steel in September. It rapidly declined in December at just 8000 million tonnes. Further reinforcing, the demand for steel were initially begun to plunged in January with 2000 million tonnes. By contast, there were fluctuation trend during the period. The demand was highly increased in December with 2000 million tonnes.
The linear representation delineates the information regarding the construction and desires for
Possible spelling mistake found.
stell
and frequency of employees in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in 2010. The data
is calibrated
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
tonnes. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that there were maximum production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
in August while, the actual demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
were less in beginning of December. To embark with, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
manufacturing
were begun
to rose in January from 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes and
eventually
reached at
Possible spelling mistake found.
peakest
level with approximately 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes.
In addition
, the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
were fell down again at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
4000 tonnes. The construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
Did you mean "remains"?
remain
stable till August and
gradually
declined at near about 3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes.
Besides
, there were
significantly
growth in production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
in September. It
rapidly
declined in December at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
8000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
reinforcing, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
were
initially
begun to plunged in January with 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes. By
Possible spelling mistake found.
contast
, there were fluctuation trend during the period. The demand was
highly
increased in December with 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes.
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IELTS academic The line chart show the production and demand of steel industry in 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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