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The line chart depicts the percentage of people who were unemployed in Australia in the year 2012.

The line chart depicts the percentage of people who were unemployed in Australia in the year 2012. Jq6Qk
The given line graph shows the rate of unemployment in Australia in 2012. Overall, it can be seen that unemployment rate in rural areas was considerably higher than that in urban areas in the first quarter of the year. While about 6. 5 % of the rural people were unemployed at the beginning of the year, only about 2% of the urban dwellers were jobless at that time. However, in the second quarter of the year, the proportion of jobless people in urban areas increased to about 4% of the urban population but in rural areas it dipped steadily to approximately 4. 5%. The number of unemployed people in urban areas dipped again in the third quarter and constituted only 2% of the total population. Meanwhile employment figures increased in rural areas and reached about 5. 5%. Towards the end of the year, the rate of unemployment in both urban and rural areas was roughly the same at 5%. Even so, throughout the year, the number of unemployed people in rural areas was higher than the number of unemployed people in urban areas.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the rate of unemployment in Australia in 2012.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that unemployment rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
was
considerably
higher than that in
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in the
first
quarter of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. While about 6. 5 % of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 2% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
dwellers were jobless at that time.
However
, in the second quarter of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the proportion of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
increased to about 4% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
it dipped
steadily
to approximately 4. 5%. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
dipped again in the third quarter and constituted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of the total population.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
employment figures increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and reached about 5. 5%. Towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the rate of unemployment in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
was roughly the same at 5%. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
was higher than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS academic The line chart depicts the percentage of people who were unemployed in Australia in the year 2012.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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