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Should children be taught about advertisements at school?

Should children be taught about advertisements at school? r6eXl
Nevertheless, education regarding advertising should be compulsory in school because children should know about the adverse effects of advertising from an early age itself. That means, most advertising companies are focused on children, because they are easily attracted to products such as toys and chocolates. Once kids have enough knowledge about this issue, they can overcome the situation without the help of others. So it is necessary to teach about the negative as well as positive aspects of advertisements in school.
Nevertheless
, education regarding advertising should be compulsory in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children should know about the adverse effects of advertising from an early age itself. That means, most advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are focused
on children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are 
easily
attracted to products such as toys and chocolates. Once kids have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge about this issue, they can overcome the situation without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is necessary to teach about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of advertisements in school.
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IELTS academic Should children be taught about advertisements at school?

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
79 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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