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the level of participation in education and science in developing countries

the level of participation in education and science in developing countries nxpBl
In the present year, we would have seen numerous changes in education and science, due to the fact various firms are thriving as well as countries. So, this graph statics illustrated the distinguishing between developing and industrial countries in the year of 1980 and 1990. In 1980, the years of schooling of industrialized countries had a greater ratio than developing. Consequently, they spend most of the financial support on research and development, the reason that the invented idea would have helped to grow the market as well boost the economy and the financial backup could produce various scholars who have varieties of knowledge. In 1990, the developing countries increased 1 year of schooling even so the support of financial to scholars, these types of countries spend most of the part of their economy on infrastructure or other amenities or social services rather than spend on scholars, due to the fact they produce less amount of scholars among the per 1000 people. The implication of this chart, The every country have to give finical support to their scholars, they could be able to invent new plans or ideas which would be beneficial to thriving lower scale business and provide facilitate life to all human beings
In the present
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year
, we would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in education and science, due to the fact various firms are thriving
as well
as
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countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this graph statics illustrated the distinguishing between developing and industrial
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countries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1980 and 1990.

In 1980, the years of schooling of industrialized
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countries
had a greater ratio than developing.
Consequently
, they spend most of the financial support on research and development, the reason that the invented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to grow the market
as well
boost the economy and the financial backup could produce various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
who have varieties of knowledge.

In 1990, the developing
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countries
increased 1
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year
of schooling even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the support of financial to
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scholars
, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spend most of the part of their economy on infrastructure or other amenities or social services
rather
than spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
, due to the fact they produce less amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
among the per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The implication of this chart, The every
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country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give finical support to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
, they could be able to invent new plans or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which would be beneficial to thriving lower scale business and provide facilitate life to all human beings
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IELTS academic the level of participation in education and science in developing countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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