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The international tourist arrivals in millions in 8 countries in 2009 and 2010 and the changes(in percentage)

The international tourist arrivals in millions in 8 countries in 2009 and 2010 and the changes(in percentage) ydQr
This table demonstrates the situation with a number of tourists at the given countries measured in millions of people along with the percentage of change over the two years (2009 and 2010). Overall, the majority of states experienced growth with Germany increasing to the highest extent. Furthermore, numbers remained the same for France, while in Hong Kong only tourists arrived less in the consecutive year. The number of countries who are increased data on tourists is majority to all of countries at the table. The most changes the quantity of visitors is Germany(109%) and followed by China(55%) and Turkey(33%) respectively. Less significant(less than 4%) increase was in countries such as: UK(3, 6%), Italy(2, 3%), Spain(1, 8%), USA(1, 5%) according to the data. France is the most stable countries from all of them, however has the best number of travellers(76 million of people). The absolutely antipode for France is Hong Kong which has only 9 million of tourists and decreases for 1 million of visitors is just over 10 percent.
This table demonstrates the situation with a
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number
of
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tourists
at the
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given
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countries
measured in
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millions
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
along with the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over the two years (2009 and 2010).
Overall
, the majority of states experienced growth with Germany increasing to the highest extent.
Furthermore
,
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numbers
remained the same for France, while in Hong Kong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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tourists
arrived less in the consecutive year.

The
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number
of
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countries
who
are increased
data on
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tourists
is majority to all of
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countries
at the table. The most
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changes
the quantity of visitors is Germany(109%) and followed by China(55%) and Turkey(33%)
respectively
. Less significant(less than 4%) increase was in
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countries
such as: UK(3, 6%), Italy(2, 3%), Spain(1, 8%), USA(1, 5%) according to the data.

France is the most stable
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countries
from all of them,
however
has the best
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number
of
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travellers
(76
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million
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
). The
absolutely
Possible spelling mistake found.
antipode
for France is Hong Kong which has
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only
9
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million
of
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tourists
and decreases for 1
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million
of visitors is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10 percent.
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IELTS academic The international tourist arrivals in millions in 8 countries in 2009 and 2010 and the changes(in percentage)

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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