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The information regarding the proportion of the UK people (23 to 65 age) who were working in distinct fields in the town of UK (Ashby) and the whole UK during the period 2008 has depicted in the graph At the first glance, in the year 2008 there were 8% people of Ashby were in professional work and double of the persons were in construction work that was 16%. Masses who were unemployed and worked in shop shared the same proportion which was 14%. After that most of the people were work in personal service 21%. In town of uk ashby 9% of people were in technical work while double of the people were in office Looking at the whole UK, Unemployed people were 10% whilst, construction worker were also the same. Both technical and personal service workers were accounted for 17%. In UK professional and shop worker were 14% and 13% respectively which had a negligible Difference only 1%. More people work in whole UK were in office which was 19% Overall, maximum people were in personal service in t

The information regarding the proportion of the UK people (23 to 65 age) who were working in distinct fields in the town of UK (Ashby) and the whole UK during the period 2008 has depicted in the graph At the first glance, in the year 2008 there were 8% people of Ashby were in professional work and double of the persons were in construction work that was 16%. Masses who were unemployed and worked in shop shared the same proportion which was 14%. After that most of the people were work in personal service 21%. In town of uk ashby 9% of people were in technical work while double of the people were in office Looking at the whole UK, Unemployed people were 10% whilst, construction worker were also the same. Both technical and personal service workers were accounted for 17%. In UK professional and shop worker were 14% and 13% respectively which had a negligible Difference only 1%. More people work in whole UK were in office which was 19% Overall, maximum people were in personal service in t bePl
The information regarding the proportion of the UK people (23 to 65 age) who were working in distinct fields in the town of UK (Ashby) and the whole UK during the period 2008 has depicted in the graphAt the first glance, in the year 2008 there were 8% people of Ashby were in professional work and double of the persons were in construction work that was 16%. Masses who were unemployed and worked in shop shared the same proportion which was 14%. After that most of the people were work in personal service 21%. In town of uk ashby 9% of people were in technical work while double of the people were in officeLooking at the whole UK, Unemployed people were 10% whilst, construction worker were also the same. Both technical and personal service workers were accounted for 17%. In UK professional and shop worker were 14% and 13% respectively which had a negligible Difference only 1%. More people work in whole UK were in office which was 19%Overall, maximum people were in personal service in town of the uk and office workers in the whole uk however, least were in Construction in both
The information regarding the proportion of the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(23 to 65 age) who were working in distinct fields in the town of UK (Ashby) and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
UK during the period 2008 has depicted in the
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graphAt
the
first
glance, in the year 2008 there were 8%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Ashby were in professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and double of the persons were in construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that was 16%. Masses who
were unemployed
and worked in shop shared the same proportion which was 14%.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that most of the
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people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in personal service 21%. In town of
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashby
9% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were in technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while double of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were in
Possible spelling mistake found.
officeLooking
at the
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whole
UK, Unemployed
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people
were 10% whilst, construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
were
also
the same. Both technical and personal service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
were accounted
for 17%. In UK professional and shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
were 14% and 13%
respectively
which had a negligible Difference
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1%. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
UK were in office which was 19%
Overall
, maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were in personal service in town of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
and office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
however
, least were in Construction in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
both
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IELTS academic The information regarding the proportion of the UK people (23 to 65 age) who were working in distinct fields in the town of UK (Ashby) and the whole UK during the period 2008 has depicted in the graph At the first glance, in the year 2008 there were 8% people of Ashby were in professional work and double of the persons were in construction work that was 16%. Masses who were unemployed and worked in shop shared the same proportion which was 14%. After that most of the people were work in personal service 21%. In town of uk ashby 9% of people were in technical work while double of the people were in office Looking at the whole UK, Unemployed people were 10% whilst, construction worker were also the same. Both technical and personal service workers were accounted for 17%. In UK professional and shop worker were 14% and 13% respectively which had a negligible Difference only 1%. More people work in whole UK were in office which was 19% Overall, maximum people were in personal service in t

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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